Some years ago i was cleaning windows in a close . i had 4 jobs in a row .I turned up on a nice dry day cleaned all 4 house's & left them all a bill  each to say that i had cleaned the windows . later that day it rained . that evening sitting at home i had a phone call from a lady said that she was not paying me because it had rained .fine i said thats ok . she asked that next mouth  could i still  clean her windows .yes fine .thank you she said & she put the phone down . next mouth came really hot day . i did not clean her windows. that night came the phone call .you have not cleaned my windows . i know. i thought it was going to rain so i left them. will you do them next time .yes of cause i said. next mouth came nice day .again missed her out .again phone call came.  you missed me again . i know but i thought it was going to rain so i left them .this went on for about a year .she give up in the end . I still clean the 3 other house's .the lady has gone though 4 other window cleaners . she did come out a few mouths ago . i looked up at the sky and said it could rain today  her windows are really dirty .it puts a smile on my face everytime i look at them. i hope it give her a lesson not to be so stupid

got to job today, pulled hoses out and lady comes out, please could you do insides instead. Me and my dad look at each other and just say yes ( no trad equipment ) so so we shot off home and got the squeegees.  Lesson learnt, always carry the squeegee, it earnt us an extra £25 quid!!! Luke

i just got the funny one liners off ppl that i've heard

Are you a window cleaner?

do i have to pay cos you left my windows wet?

not to day i just put the cat to sleep! (apperently he had been ill, i mean the cat not the custy )

Please dont clean my windows no more, your ladder make the house shake!

one area i do the same bunch of kids come along and while the pole is against the window and cleaning it, they ask "what are you doing?" every flippin time i am there. kids eh.

a few yrs back i was cleaning a window and this woman said oi you left a bloody big mark there i had to say sorry love its on the inside oh she says can you clean the mark off then yes i said but you have to let me in why cant you do it from there she says to cut a lnog story short she thought i could rub the outside off the glass and it wud remove the mark on the inside

hard to belive i know i puzzled for days after that

had this 1 last week aswell

i hope ur only chargin me half price why i asked coz you aint got any soap in ur water thats why young man

ppl are crazy

cleaned a indian resturant twice

second time cheeky b*****d tried to pay me
in popadoms

i turned up at the wrong house one day. 2 house down from the one i should of been doing. cleaned all the windows knocked on the front door. a man answes . yes. just cleaned all the windows . how much. £15 please . pays me & thanks me . never went back after that . i would of liked to be a fly on the wall that night .

went out today, using the pole coz its more safe? lol

walking up a path with pole in hand and microbore wrapped round my trolley, someone wanted my attention the microbore came loose without me knowing and wrapped round my legs, skelp i was on the floor face first, cuts and bruises pole knackered now as i used that to try and break my fall, only thing i could do was lie there laughing my head off. safer to use poles? wally.

I'll keep this short. Cleaning with mate (his job). Old lady come out, Where is he? Up there madam, cleaning your window. She goes balistic. Told him not to go on that roof (it's a porch above the front door). That roof is 1770 or some such cr*p. She had not told him to stay off the roof at all. She had seen ladders up the side before and thought the window in question had been cleaned from there. With 8 foot arms maybe. It might have been funny in the morning, but not at the end of the day. She currently doesn't have a window cleaner and I ain't passing her details onto anyone

Hehehehe How long have you got boys?
After 20 odd years in the game I've had some classics but a couple do still bring a smile to my devastatingly handsome mug.
Me and my oppo were doing some posh old bird's house when she came out with 2 steaming mugs of tea.
When we'd finished she came round the back so we prepared to hand back our empty mugs. I gave her mine without incident, however my mate Max decided he'd give his a shake to get rid of the dregs upon which it flew away from the handle and hit the unfortunate lady right in the moosh.

Another tea related incident occurred when we were round the back of a house with a large conservatory and I was on the tops while Max was doing the conservatory roof off an A frame ladder.
While he was up there he decided he needed a slash so instead of coming down and asking to use the loo he decided to whip out his little soldier and relieve himself into the guttering around the conservatory at which point the custy appeared on the scene with 2 cups of rosy and stood there holding them out while a stream of steaming jimmy flowed out of the downpipe and formed a lovely yellow pool around her feet.
We lost that job
I dunno boys some people are soooooo touchy.

A wc in taunton has been using the water fed pole system .He use's about 20,000 liters of water a week .
one day he's at home and 3 wessex water board vans & 1 lorry  turns up in his road .They start digging up the road after two days they leave and thinks no more about it . two weeks go by and he has a knock at the door .The water board are at his door .Are you a window cleaner . yes  . how do you clean the windows .with pure water . do you do that from home . yes .can we see your system . yes ok and he shows the water board that he has a 1000 liter tank in the back garden .he thens ask's the water board whats all this about .Well sir we thought we had a major leak. So two weeks ago we dug up the road & found nothing . we could not understand what was going on  intill i looked in the yellow pages for window cleaners & found out that you lived in the same street as the major leak .right ok .sir here is your  bill for £750.00 which you need to pay within 14 days if not then we will cut you off .we will also be fitting a water meter to this address .the window cleaner was dumb founded . the water board did fit a meter and he now pays between £500 & £700 every 4 months for his water . He was thinking about moving

He must be cleaning a hell of a lot of windows!!

clearing window sills inside posh office in brum town centre,picked up a small dish not realising it had water in it,water went to spill and natural instinct i went to catch it resulting in me throwing water all over office bird talk about wet t-shirt competition luckily she saw the funny side.